


Clairvoyant

by thenewnationalanthem (moxielovesshipping)



Series: I Want To Be With You [14]
Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Angst, Boys Kissing, Crying, First Love, Forbidden Love, Long-Distance Relationship, Love Triangles, M/M, One-Sided Relationship, References to Depression, Songfic, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-01
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2019-03-12 09:26:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13544466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moxielovesshipping/pseuds/thenewnationalanthem
Summary: Stanley knew from the moment he met him, it was love at first sight.For Eddie, it was always just phase.





	Clairvoyant

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the song Clairvoyant by The Story So Far, and the immense pain i feel every time my heart gets broken.
> 
> Dedicated to the two most supportive people in my life, thank you guys so much for believing in me.

Stanley knew from the moment he met him, it was love at first sight.

 

The way he giggled, the way he smiled, the coy way he would make passive comments.

 

The way he talked, the way he dressed, the sarcasm that dripped from his perfect lips.

 

His height, his shape, his hair, his eyes.

 

The way he commanded any room he stepped in, and even his flaws.

 

The way he overreacted to every cough, sneeze, and sniffle. 

 

Stanley loved it all.

* * *

The day Eddie told them he was moving away was the worst day of his life.

 

"I'll keep in touch, Stan," He said with a smile, "I'll miss you."

 

"I'll miss you too." Stan replied, and he held his tongue at the words that threatened to fall off it.

 

_I love you._

 

He carefully helped him stack his things neatly into piles, and Eddie took them and fit them in the suitcases. 

 

The dorm was going to be alot less empty without Eddie to fill it.

 

Of course, Bill and Mike would miss him, they were best friends.

 

But Stan loved him, and it made it hurt so much more.

 

So when his car was finally packed, Bill and Mike gave him best wishes and hugs, and returned inside, but Stan couldn't move.

 

He planted himself firmly in front of Eddie, curls hanging in front of his face in shame.

 

Eddie's soft, pale hands grabbed his cheeks to lift up his face, and he couldn't help but gasp out a sob as he smiled. "Chin up Stanny," He hummed, pressing their foreheads together, "show me that smile."

 

"Don't go." He whispered, that the baleful sigh that escaped Eddie was so unlike him. "Please."

 

"Little too late to beg me, Stan. Hey, don't cry sunshine."

 

"I love you." He huffs out in a rush, and Eddie's hands still on his face.

 

The soothing touch was gone, and now they were here, face to face, about to be miles away.

 

Then, Eddie kissed his lips, chaste and slow, and the rest of the world fell away.

 

As soon as it began, it was over, and Eddie was beaming in front of him, matching tear tracks on his cheeks. "Keep in touch, hummingbird."

 

"I will...I promise."

* * *

 

And he did.

 

Every day, he messaged Eddie, called Eddie, and Eddie would answer.

 

His face would fill the screen, and Stan's lips would tingle at the thought of kissing him again. He would smile, and giggle, and talk, and ramble.

 

Even two years later, Stanley still loved it all.

 

He told Bill and Mike about how much he loved Eddie, and how Eddie loved him back, and how he hoped he'd come back and visit one day.

 

Sometimes, all three of them, and their new roommate Ben, would curl up in front of the TV and Bill would hook up the laptop to so that Eddie's face would fill it up. They would smile, and laugh, and talk, and ramble, and it was bliss.

 

Then, Eddie changed.

 

He stopped calling so much.

 

He stopped answering.

 

He started being busy.

 

No more late night phone calls.

 

No more giggles. 

 

No more smiles.

 

He even postponed his trip to Derry at the last minute because he had to go to California. 

 

As far as Stan knew, Eddie didn't have family in California.

* * *

 

Now that Eddie was busy, Bill had graduated, and Mike moved back in with his parents, he felt so alone.

 

Stan was lonely.

 

Stan was alone.

 

Even Ben shoved him off. He felt like a burden.

 

Sometimes he cried at night.

 

Curled up in the warmth of his bed and cried, until his eyes were red or he fell asleep.

 

Sometimes he threw up because he made himself sick.

 

Why was he so clingy?

 

Why was he so annoying?

 

Why was he so demanding?

 

No wonder his friends left him.

 

He simply wasn't good enough.

 

At least he thought that, until he met Richie.

* * *

Richard was a Psychology Major in California.

 

He had a charming smile, shaggy hair, and a loose style.

 

His laugh was infectious, and though he wasn't very buff, he had a nice body shape.

 

He'd grown up in Derry, and come to think of it, Stan thinks they met briefly in elementary school.

 

Stan wasn't very social back then. 

 

He'd met Richie through a profile he followed on Instagram dedicated to posting photos of the most talented people in California each day. 

 

Stan didn't really know why he'd followed them, but he assumed it was because there was a possibility they'd post a photo of his first true love.

 

Richie was easy going, helpful, and supportive.

 

He was everything Stan wasn't, and that's why he needed him.

 

"Call me if you need me Stan the man!" He beamed through the phone, and Stan huffed and rolled his eyes on the way to Synagogue. "You know I love you!"

 

He swallowed harshly at those words, the friendliness lurking in them threatened to tear him apart.

 

He couldn't afford to have his heart broken again.

 

He had Richie, and that was all he needed.

* * *

In his graduate summer, Stan decided he'd take a trip to California to visit his new best friend.

 

He could use the time away from Derry, and Richie seemed even more excited with the trip than he was.

 

So he sucked up his anxiety, packed his antidepressants, and got on his very first plane out of Derry since his freshman year.

 

"You should stay with me!" Richie had insisted, "I'm sure my boyfriend won't mind!"

 

"I don't want to impose..." Stan argued, feeling the slightest bit jealous that Richie was already taken. Still, it was a nice offer. Maybe his boyfriend would be friends with Stan too.

 

"Nooooo! I promise you're not! Pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaa--"

 

"Okay! Jesus, Richie." He blushes, hanging up his phone quickly on his way to class. 

 

Now, he was pulling up at Richie's address, bags in tow, heart tucked safely away.

 

His hand raises, and before he knocks, the door swings open, and his breath is ripped from his throat.

 

A short but demanding man leans against the doorway, hazel hair messy atop his head as he looks up.

 

Something about him is familiar.

 

His height, his shape, his hair, his eyes.

 

The way he commanded the room he was in.

 

"Babe! Is that Stan the man?!?" He hears Richie squeal from the distance, but his eyes stay trained and watering on Eddie Kaspbrak. "Hey Stan!!"

 

"Hey Richie."

 

"Stan."

 

"Eddie."

 

"I--"

 

"Hey Richie, thanks for the offer but," He stumbles through his words, between the tears and the hiccups, and god he was so weak for breaking down right now, "But I think I'll get a hotel."

 

"What? Stan--"

 

"N...no thanks, okay? I'll call you."

 

Before they could say another word, he rushes his way down the street, tears rushing down his face, suitcase rolling over his heart as it drags behind him.

 

 

 


End file.
